-Over 500,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year.
-5.3 million women are abused each year (37% of that are pregnant women).
-1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner.
-Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women.
-Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.
3. Superiority – He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
4. Manipulates – Tells you you’re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it’s your fault he is abusive. Says he can’t help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to “help” him. Tells others you are unstable.
5. Mood Swings – His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.
6. Actions don’t match words – He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.
7. Punishes you – An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the “silent game” as punishment when he doesn’t get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.
8. Unwilling to seek help – An abusive man doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.
9. Disrespects women – Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.
10. Has a history of abusing women and/or animals or was abused himself – Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.
2. He has record of being arrested for domestic violence. Do your homework and if possible the background check to know more about him. According to a dating poll of over 500 women on WomanSavers.com, over 50% of women google a person’s name before dating.
3. He has a poor or no relationship with his mother or ex partners.
4. He speaks negatively about all his past relationships, blaming them always. If at all possible, try to speak to these women to hear their point of view. If he badmouths them, you may be next.
5. He exhibits an over-bearing, aggressive personality. You may be attracted by his apparent confidence, strength, determination and aggressive personality – the kind of qualities you think you lack. However, this personality type can also be a red flag for abusive behavior.
6. He talks at length, bragging about himself. This self-obsessed behavior is frequently seen in abusive men.
7. He expects a big return on his venture. He may seem happy to put your needs and wishes first for a little while, but it will not be long before he throws it in your face by saying: “Look at everything I do for you. You owe me!”
8. The relationship moves forward very quick. Abusive men persuade as fast as they can. They know that they cannot sustain consistent good behavior for very long. Good behavior does not give them the pay off they want, controlling through abuse does.
9. You catch him telling lies. There are areas of his life that he is not telling you about or is lying to you about because he may lose you.
10. He is interested in everything you have to say and coincidentally always agrees. This is a sneaky technique called mirroring and can later be used to control you by developing trust. Any of the above must be considered as an important warning sign of an Abusive Men. If you hear any alarms going off in your head, listen to them carefully and act on them. An ounce of prevention can avert a lifetime of heartache.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.
-feel afraid of your partner much of the time and avoid certain topics out of -fear of angering your partner?
-hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
-threaten to take your children away or harm them?
-threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
-force you to have sex?
-destroy your belongings?
-control where you go or what you do?
-keep you from seeing your friends or family?
-limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-constantly check up on you?
Physical violence is just one form of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse takes many forms, including psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse. These types of abuse are less obvious than physical abuse, but that doesn’t mean they’re not damaging. In fact, these types of domestic abuse can be even more harmful because they are so often overlooked—even by the person being abused.
Economic or financial abuse: Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he will frequently use money to do so. Economic or financial abuse includes:
-Stealing from you or taking your money.
-Rigidly controlling your finances.
-Withholding money or credit cards.
-Making you account for every penny you spend.
-Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).
-Restricting you to an allowance.
-Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
-Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly)
General Signs of Domestic Abuse:
People who are being abused may:
-Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner. Go along with everything their partner says and does. -Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing. -Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner. -Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness. -Warning signs of physical violence
People who are being physically abused may:
-Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
-Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long ------sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).
-Warning signs of isolation
-Rarely go out in public without their partner.
-Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.
-The psychological warning signs of abuse
-Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing woman becomes withdrawn).
-Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.