.::Those Taking the Journey::.

3.7.10

.::Teach Them in the Way They Should Go::.

As I watch my son grow, I see how our relationship changes. I allow our relationship to grow and change with his growth. I understand that as he grows, our relationship cannot stay the same or it will impede his progress/growth.
A lot of parents--particularly single mothers--try to keep the relationship the same. Whether it be consciously or subconsciously, it happens. This type of relationship is bad for both parent and child. It's dysfunctional and it affects the child's growth and future relationships for the worse.

As your child grows, the relationship must evolve. When they are a child, you are the authoritarian, disciplinarian, guardian... You are in control.

But once the child becomes an adult, you transition from authoritarian to adviser, confidante, etc. This is a necessary change. The being who was your child, is no longer a child and no longer dependent upon you. They will make decisions for themselves and while they may consult you, they may or may not heed your advice.

They will make mistakes. They will slip and fall... When they hurt, you will hurt... But all of this is necessary for their growth. It is their path and you cannot travel it for them. You must allow them to be who they are and do what they're supposed to do.

A lot of times, we think we know what they're supposed to do. No one can decide their path, but them... Just as you chose your path. Trust that you raised and trained your child well.

"Teach them in the way they should go and they will not depart from it."

Such a beautiful scripture, and so much truth in it. All we can do is equip our children with the proper tools to navigate their path.

Mother birds will fiercely protect their babies. Even giving their own life so the baby can escape. When baby birds are ready to go off on their own, mother birds teach their babies to fly and let them venture out on their own. They don't try to keep the baby bird from testing their wings. If need be, they'll push the baby bird from the nest and make them fly on their own.

We cannot enable our children. We must encourage their growth and their independence. I see so many single mothers hindering their sons. They make their sons dependent on them and make them their man (not in an incestual way). This is all so unfair to the son. They become each other's crutch... Neither has built the muscles to walk on their own... Many never do.

As our children grow, so must the relationship. Don't be sad for the change. Welcome and embrace it. It doesn't mean your child loves you any less. It means they have taken the teachings you taught them and applied them. Give thanks.

More to come. Peace, Love and Elevation.

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